Motherhood Update (20 Months)
Initially, I wanted to share this post once Fernando turned 18 months, but somehow only got around to actually writing down my thoughts recently. So much has happened developmentally for Fernando, since I last shared a motherhood update, and a lot changed for me as well. Read on for the highlight reel of our last six months or so.
Baby to Toddler
The most visible change is that my baby FLO is no longer a baby at all. He is a very determined, strong, confident and loving little boy. With each day his personality shines through and I see little glimpses of the boy he is growing up to be. Charming and caring.
This is by far my favorite age. Not counting gibberish, Fernando isn’t quite speaking yet. But, he is able to so clearly communicate all of his needs. At times, I can see him struggling to take hold of his emotions—both good and bad, and I try to remember it’s my job to be patient and kind and to teach him the right way to express feelings.
Selfishly, I think it’s my favorite age because he reciprocates love. His hugs are firm, and his smile when he sees a familiar face is genuine. His entire body shrieks with happiness when he sees Mau walk through the door. After months of caring for this little human, to have him show love to us right back is the best thing in the universe.
Our Daily Routine
We typically leave the house twice a day, and I like to keep things fair with one errand for me and another for him. So we might hit the park and then we go to Target—it’s only fair! Over the last few months we’ve been going to various neighborhood parks and with each visit, Fernando explores and does more than the last time. It’s terrifying and thrilling at the same time. I have to run behind him at all times, and I’m afraid to even look up or away, because he is so quick and fearless.
I do miss our stroller walks, because that was my time to not only exercise a little, but also catch up on the phone. He hates being restricted to the stroller, and now will only get in if he is tired.
Eating Habits
I blame teething, but my adventurous eater is no more. He is obsessed with milk, and doesn’t care if it’s almond or cow, as long as it’s white and in his favorite bottle. Eye roll. Because if the favorite bottle is dirty there will be hell to pay. On some days I feel like we have reached the terrible two’s several months early—is that possible?
Otherwise, if he isn’t much into eating and I know that this will pass, but it’s hard to watch him reject everything I make, with a few exceptions. These days I keep it simple and if he isn’t eating enough of a variety I throw some greens in a smoothie and call it a day. I also try not to get upset or frustrated. He is healthy, he is growing and that’s all that matters. Someday he’ll say “mom, the meatloaf!” from the basement and I’ll be the happiest little lady around.
Socializing
I try to have an outing with a fellow mama at least once a month. Playdates are a fun way to pass the day and break up the monotony. I vowed to make more mama friends, and I have branched out a little and happy to say I’ve rounded up a few!
It’s especially nice to have mama friends, because a social outing with friends and a toddler is a nightmare. I can’t finish a sentence or a thought without having to run after him.
Me, again
The biggest thing I have to report is that I feel like me. Like my old self, but also in full embrace and understanding that I’m a mom. But the internal struggle of what is now my identity is gone. I don’t feel selfish or guilty for wanting to take time away. I don’t feel like I have to stop focusing on my goals or take the time for self care. I am able to separate myself from motherhood much easier than before, when it felt impossible.
That’s all for now,
Alina